Hey Queens and Kings: *waves*

I recently took a solo trip to Montreal, Canada and while there, gained some solo trip gems (aka “ah-ha” moments). Though I didn’t have a plan for how I wanted to spend my time in Montreal, I had the most amazing time. I’m not sure what I expected when I decided to take the trip, but it was a very peaceful, warm, and freeing experience. I divided my time between hanging with the locals, solo traveling on the metro, and doing some grounding work. Without planning, I seemed to have stumbled into a schedule and routine for myself, which I noticed on day three.

It’s my lack of planning, yet the synchronicity of life, which prompts me to write this blog post. I wanted to share some of the solo trip gems I experienced during the trip, with the hope that it will be of some help to you or someone you know.

To start off, when I travel, I typically choose a book to take with me. The book I took with me to read was Entrepreneurial You: Monetize Your Expertise, Create Multiple Streams, and Thrive by Dorie Clark. I initially thought I would take one of the spiritual books I had been meaning to read, but as I was looking at my books, this one really spoke to me. I am happy I choose this book because I believe it’s exactly what I needed at the time (God got my back). Prior to my trip, I had generally been feeling grounded and overflowing with love, positive thoughts, and energy that I could share with the world. However, there was this strong desire to get out of town and take a break.

My intuition seemed to be hinting at something, although I felt it, I couldn’t figure out what that something was. While away, as I prayed, read, and took time to simply BE, some things were revealed to me. These solo trip gems mainly focused on how I was handling Charliie’s TRUTH, life, and myself.

Here are three of the major solo trip gems that really caught my attention. Because I know that so many of us get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, I thought these could serve as reminders to others as well.

Solo Trip Gem 1: When You Develop and Follow a Schedule, it’s an Act of Self-Care

I am usually the person with four calendars that are up to date and easy to follow. However, since I left my dedicated 9-5 late last year, I have been struggling to get some structure into my life. My lack of structure extended to things I need to do for Charliie’s TRUTH, as well as my personal life. For example, I don’t even schedule my social media ahead of time, though many online businesses do, and any guru would advise you to do so. Scheduling ahead of time often saves time and helps one stay intentional with the content being shared. I have tried to follow a consistent schedule, but for whatever reason, I could not stay consistent. After 1 day, or if a little inconvenience took place, I would let the schedule completely go and then revert back to staying up late and sleeping into the late morning, early afternoon.

And that wouldn’t be the worse thing, if, when I got up, I had a plan.   But usually, I would create a plan as I went. I would have definite time slots filled, but anything outside of that was just space. To call it what it was, I was kind of all over the place. I was getting things done, but a lot of times it was in a frantic mood, with little peace. So it made sense that if I kept it up, I could eventually cause burnout, and I may have been on the verge, but GOD IS GOOD and He had your girl’s back!

While in Canada, I woke up at 7:30 am, did my morning routine, and was usually out the door by 12:00 pm. I would then be out the entire day, and return at a time where I could be in bed by 10:30 pm. Now, I didn’t plan this… it just happened. But as it happened, I realized just how much smoother my days went, how peaceful I felt, and how much energy I had. I had a system and it was working. It was a system I didn’t even know I needed and wasn’t aware that I should try. But it was a system that worked effortlessly. I had never done anything like this on a trip, so I was trusting that God was showing me, just how my life could be if I got intentional with my time and attention. I am indeed grateful. I came back to New York, being very intentional with my time and focus, and I am committed to keeping it this way. I now have an amazing planner I got from Urban Outfitters and my day is laid out from the time I wake up until I go to sleep.

I am committed to being a business owner and NOT simply, SELF-EMPLOYED.

Do you have a daily plan? When do you create it? How well do you follow it? Are you leaving room in your mindset and planner, in the case that sh*t happens?

Solo Trip Gem 2: Stop Talking About It & Do The Work

I love discussions about mindfulness and the ego. Studying the two is what helped me on my journey of shadow work and healing. It is also the key to me helping others to heal and get through their pain and shadows. And though I have talked about the fact that it’s my tools, I didn’t feel as if I was sharing enough information about it on my platforms. The purpose of social media, as a business owner, is to TEACH, share your knowledge, build community, and be resourceful. And though I get messages saying that my content is helpful, I had wanted to discuss these transformational tools more often.

What was I waiting for to start? I don’t know. I really have no idea. But I needed to make a plan and follow through.

As I read Entrepreneurial You, it reminded me of the importance of sharing the information you want to be known for. Meaning, if mindfulness and ego is my thing, I need to prove it… PERIOD. So another “hey Charliie, you showing up, or nah?” *insert emoji with head in hand* It was clear that I was missing opportunities by not FULLY showing up.

Fast forward. While I was exercising, now back in New York, and practicing my breathing… an idea came to me: #MindfulnessMonday and #Face-offFriday. Face-off Friday was meant to address ego, but I wasn’t sure I could run with that, and so with further thought, I changed it to #ThursdayThrowaway.

If you follow my social media accounts, on Monday I introduced Mindfulness Monday and Thursday Throwaway; it’s happening you guys. I AM SHOWING UP YALL. And though consistency has been one of my pains on this journey of entrepreneurship, I honestly believe that having a schedule, that I will follow, will be of great assistance to me. I have already decided what days of the week I will create content, meet with clients, research, and follow-up. The great thing about creating a schedule is that I had an opportunity to test it out without pressuring myself. I was able to see the benefits of having a schedule, and those are benefits I want to continue to enjoy, and eventually, share with others.

When it comes to developing content or creating new programs, I have learned that you can put your ideas out there and let those who follow you, co-create with you.  This means that as you receive feedback, you can make the necessary changes. If you are putting information out for an audience, you can do this too. It’s actually really beneficial and makes tons of sense. Plus, personally, it helps me with overthinking and wanting things to be perfect. Reality is, you don’t always know what people need, but by sharing what you think they need, you create a space for feedback. So instead of overthinking and procrastinating, I will be DOING THE WORK and putting it out there for you all to enjoy or turn away =).

Is there something in your personal or professional life that you’ve been putting off doing? Have you been thinking of an idea and haven’t made any steps towards manifesting it? If this is you… let’s commit together. STOP overthinking, procrastinating, or holding off! Make the move. If you were waiting for a sign, this is it. Take a step and CREATE.

Solo Trip Gem 3: You Can Choose To Honor Your Love to Self OR Do What You Think Makes Others Like You

Oh, this was a good one. Though I am humbly aware of the positive energy I carry and likeability, there are still times when I succumb to “people-pleasing.”  This gem here connects with expanding my practice of self-care and self-love. It’s about doing things that feel good to my soul, with the intentions of doing what’s best for me.

I had been debating about some things in my life, and I had noticed that when I was saying “yes,” it wasn’t because I genuinely wanted to say yes. Oftentimes, I was thinking, “I don’t want others to be mad at me, too.” When I noticed the thought enter my mind, I stopped— Oh no no no, EGO. We are NOT! I took this straight to God, processed it, and accepted in the awareness that my true feelings were an unwavering “No.”

One of the amazing things about God is that He gives us choice. So though I felt it in my spirit that it was a “No,” when the No doesn’t have negative energy attached to it, I take that to mean, it’s a choice. Here, when I say choice, I mean an option that won’t necessarily have bad repercussions (certainly not FACTS, just my experience). And so, even though I know I want to say No, I will still debate within myself on whether I should just bite the bullet and say yes, or be a friend to my spirit by honoring the no.

As I thought more, I realized why it wouldn’t matter if others are mad at me for doing what is best for me. I was reminded of the importance of making sure that I am well. I pour so much into other people, all of the time, but when I am down, it’s rarely anyone to recharge me. So I have to take better care of myself. And that may mean that others will be disappointed. But I will always explain in love and hope that they can understand. And since my intentions are purely out of love, if they are unable to understand, I will understand and respect their position.

But with everything that was revealed on my trip (ex. my current actions will lead to burnout) and with everything I had been learning as I go within myself, it is so important that I take care of me, more intentionally. This is not negotiable. And as I recommit to myself, I want to encourage you to take care of yourself as well.

You can’t please everyone. You can’t always be everything for everyone. When you say no, some people will threaten to walk away, then the options become, who do you choose— You or them?

Just FYI: The indication of taking better care of myself was reiterated from a Reiki Master who did my astrology report. I had ordered the report several days before my trip, and a couple of days after my return, I received it. On the last page, it stated that she picked up the energy of burnout.

These are only three of the solo trip gems. These are the three that I felt compelled to work on as soon as I got back to New York. Aside from those three, I wanted this post to flash a light on several other things:

1. Find time for solitude to listen to God and get guidance (or the Universe… your intuition, however you identify).
2. Self-care goes beyond the pedicure, haircut, and the spiritual baths… sometimes it means setting up boundaries, saying no, taking a trip alone, making yourself a schedule to avoid burnout, hiring staff, sacrificing, or going after your goals, etc.
3. It’s okay to start again. Maybe you’ve been making several tweaks on a project or business venture, and you feel crazy. You feel like with each change, you are accepting defeat. HOWEVER, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Life is a process. The building of anything is a process. Give yourself permission to grow and expand. You are making those tweaks because you are learning and as you learn, you are able to see your vision in a brighter, more visible light. You’re exactly where you need to be. Doing exactly what you need to be doing. Keep building!
4. Sometimes we have to distance ourselves so we aren’t distracted by the noise of everyone “who knows what is best for us.” This journey is unique to us. And though I am a believer in support and connections, I also have learned that some of us have limited beliefs. And we tend to share those limited beliefs with others when we speak into their lives from our perspective and beliefs. But know this, your potential is limitless. Therefore, it may require for you to step away from all the conditioned minds around you, and hear from God, who is limitless as well =).
5. Allow your cup to overflow so that you can pour into others. If you have just enough for you, that’s not enough— you need that for you. You want to be in overflow so that everyone can catch that overflow, and be blessed, and you won’t be left on EMPTY. What this means is that you need to be engaging and routine self-care and check-ins with yourself. Since returning from Canada, I now measure my energy between 1-15. Eleven and beyond is overflow, but even at eleven, I am not pouring into everyone. This measuring has been really helpful when I am checking in with myself to see how I’m doing. What is a practice you can put into place so you are able to check-in with yourself?

I am so grateful that I am able to share some reflections from my trip, with you. I pray that it added value to you.

Be sure to let me know in the comments what resonated with you. Better yet, you can leave any feedback you have. If you want me to elaborate on anything I wrote, or on another topic, mention that below.

I look forward to chatting it up with you soon!!

Until next time.

P.S. Here is a blog I wrote with tips on how to show love to yourself;  Just in case ;-).

IN LOVE, BOLDNESS + RIGHTEOUSNESS!

xx,

CHARLIIE