Have you ever felt like something was missing in your life? You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but you knew that you felt disconnected from something? And maybe you looked for it … in moments, people, situations —- wondering when it’ll click. When that void or longing will be filled.

I don’t know about you, but this is how I felt most of my life. In my mid-twenties I found myself constantly saying, “I just want to be free.” I had no idea what it meant and I didn’t question it much… because my inner self knew… there was something important behind that statement.

For years I would repeat that very statement. After every “life win,” I found myself saying just that – “I just want to be free.” If you look at my law school graduation pictures, you’ll see a picture with that very saying! Yet, I had no idea what it meant… until I did!

SO HERE IS HOW IT REALLY HIT ME— the importance of the statement.

It was around the time of my law school graduation, my friends were in town, and I said, “ I just want to be free.” Honestly, I wasn’t aware of what I was saying; I just blurted it out. However, the response from one of my friend’s brought my awareness to the statement. She responded, “You are out of the military and done with school—- how much more free do you want to be?”

My initial reaction was to giggle and shrug. But as time passed and I kept replaying her words I started to wonder if she had a point? However, it was my belief that something in me knew that I still felt a void; I knew I hadn’t found my freedom.  

What was freedom exactly? I didn’t know, but I believed that when I had experienced it, I would know. Like when people fall in love and say, “I knew she was the one.” I had no idea what I wanted to experience or what I was waiting for— but whatever it was, existed, somewhere!

It’s been almost three years since my friend made that comment. My life continued on, with the void, and I continued to say, “I just want to be free.” I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster and challenge course over the years. However, I was intentionally seeking this “freedom.”

AND THEN IT HAPPENED.

You won’t believe what the experience of FREEDOM was or where it was… GUESS!!!

Ohkay, Fine! The answer:

It was IN ME!!! And I came across it through my intentional self-discovery journey.

 

{Whaaaa}… why don’t they teach this in school?

 

As I went on the self-discovery journey, I became more mindful and started SHOWING UP, authentically… I started to feel this amazing, liberating, and out of body – like experience.

In my mindfulness and meditation practice, I would sit in this feeling of wholeness and connection with myself, and it was so freeing and peaceful. With this …

I started to identify myself as a child of God and believing it.

I stopped doing sh*t I hate.

I stopped with the “should” mindset.

I stopped asking for permission and labeling it as advice.

I started showing up and being present.

I accepted that nothing outside of me could make me feel complete.

I connected with my inner being.

I started honoring my TRUE feelings.

I took COMPLETE responsibility for my life.

I stopped getting easily agitated and controlled by things outside of me, accepting that most of the things we experience, don’t matter.

You see! What I believe happened is… I stopped looking for an answer to life outside of me. I stopped searching for a magic pill. I stopped searching for the perfect job. I stopped asking how I fit into this world and started saying, this is the love I want to share with the world.

I stopped apologizing for my identity. I started embracing my emotions. I stripped myself of the expectations others placed on me. I stopped letting my ego run wild! I started trusting God in a new way. I questioned my values and beliefs. I let go of things that didn’t serve me. I stopped trusting others’ opinions over my own.

I BECAME THE EXPERT OF MY LIFE!

As I started connecting with my inner self, I became secure within myself. And that’s when I started to feel WHOLE. I feel like I am part of something beyond the natural world.

This is a journey. No way am I trying to trick or convince myself that I MADE IT and I know who I am for life and that this is it! But I do know that I am arriving. I do know that I’m in a different place than I was and that I am experiencing life in a new way.

Honestly, I know the liberation came when I started to practice mindfulness. I became so WOKE! Lol. I had never experienced such clarity. The type of clarity where you can actually hear and understand your own thoughts. I could finally make sense of how I was feeling, thinking, and why I was doing what I was doing. I can now self-question myself and actually get a response. It’s been GREAAATTTTT!

The freedom I was looking for was… the journey of GETTING BACK TO THE TRUE ME.

When I was saying, “I just want to be free,” that was my subconscious saying… “come back to me.”

 

Can you relate? Have you experienced a similar experience in your self-discovery journey? Or are you trying to start on your self-discovery journey?

Join the B.O.L.D. Project. I am the host over at the Private Facebook Group, The B.O.L.D. Project. The group is connected to a journal I created called The B.O.L.D. Project: a 31- Day Self-Exploration Journey Through Journaling. The journal was published in April of 2018.

On May 14^th, a group of us are coming together in the private group to tackle the 31 days together. During that time, I will discuss why the daily prompt is important, what we can learn from the prompt, and answer any questions or comments you have. In the group, we can share our ah-ha moments and grow together. I will also post follow-up questions to the prompts that will encourage us to dig a little deeper. Basically, by purchasing the journal, you get to work with a coach without the “coach price”… ready for some change in your life? JOIN US! Purchase your book here and then request to join the Private Group!